Yet Again

This is probably not the first post about money and how bloody dissatisfied I am about my worse than pitiful nano pay. Yes, I strongly believe that incentives and a better salary influence employees' motivation to work. I checked the fucking system to see if they did any deductions because obviously the numbers didn't change. It's still, what I call, pathetic. I thought I was supposed to get a little bit more cos I've gotten my masters. Hell no! I may be illiterate when it concerns numbers but the numbers are still the same for as long as I can remember. What am I to do? I'm dumbfounded. Shamed. Broken.

Employee Seeking for Employment

Everytime I try to do hanky panky stuff, I'll get caught. Just got caught yesterday. Not that I care anyway cos I don't have the will to fight to be here anymore. I'm hunting for jobs and I seriously think not being a lecturer is a good thing, considering the fact that I have a temper that sometimes land me in trouble haha. Few months back as I was browsing through FB, I came across a friend who studied culinary arts. And I was thinking how stupid I am not to take up this course last time. I could have my own restaurant or bakery some day and my mom's hard work would not go to waste. I can make her the Chief Chef (if there's such a term) of my restaurant. And then I was also considering working behind desks or behind scenes. The kind of work where I don't have to deal with whiny students. Now I kinda regret it. And I was offered RM250 to private tutor a student for 36 hours. IELTS, for God's sake. You think it's for kindy level, is it? You think I'm doing fucking charity? I turned down the offer anyway. Now, I'm open to options. I just want to find happiness in life while earning money. Sales, no. Barista, no. Clerk, no. What else? I'm still searching.

Speak No Evil

You don't have to throw a stink bomb on someone to get into a fight. You just have to hurl hurtful, degrading words onto someone's face. Words can be beautiful and ugly at the same time. Use words wisely and the world will worship you. Over the years, I've wrecked myself and others with bad words. And I get what I gave too. Sometimes, I think remaining silent is the best way to avoid conflicts, though it may lead to misunderstanding. Human beings are complex creatures who create complex situations in life! Why can words, regardless of whether they are true or not, be passed on and not positive mentality? I think I'll adopt the third rule: Speak no evil. I'll just keep it to myself for the sake of others. I'm not a saint, I'm just helping to restore and retain peace. We need moments of silence, just for the heart to rest.